"Building relationships is easy." Said no leader ever.

Whether you’re a math coach, specialist, team lead, or coordinator, you’ve likely heard that building trusting relationships with teachers is the key to being an effective leader. It’s a phrase thrown around so often in education that it’s almost a cliché. But here’s the thing: there's a reason we talk about it so much—people naturally want to work harder and do better for someone they trust and feel connected to.

Yet, building trust and connection isn’t always simple. Sometimes it clicks right away, but other times, teachers may be resistant to change or skeptical of your role. So, how do you foster relationships in those tougher situations?

It all starts with trust. And trust comes from two essential sources: character and competence. In this post, I’ll combine those into one word: credibility—and share three proven tips that helped me, as a math specialist, build credibility and trust with my colleagues.

Tip #1: Get Curious

When I first became the Math Specialist at my school, no one really knew what to expect from my role. I knew that before anything else, I needed to get buy-in from my colleagues. To do that, I had to approach my new role as a teammate, not a solo act. The key? Get curious. I had to figure out what teachers and students needed from me—and how I would know if I was meeting those needs.

To build trust and establish teamwork, start by asking your colleagues these three key questions:

What are your students'—and your–greatest math needs?
While students’ needs are always the priority, teachers' needs are just as important. Research shows teachers are the most influential in-school factor for student success (source). Supporting teachers means supporting students. Make it clear that you’re there to serve teachers and help them grow—not to evaluate, judge, or push an agenda. This builds credibility and shows you’re a teammate, focused on their specific needs.

What’s our purpose? People need to know why they’re doing something. Without a clear purpose, trust breaks down. Work with your team to define the purpose of your role or team. One of the quickest ways to lose someone’s trust is by not meeting their expectations, so a clear purpose puts everyone on the same page.

What’s our definition of success? You can’t achieve a goal you haven’t defined. Be clear on what success looks like. Set a few specific markers that everyone can work toward. This helps build trust by showing you’re committed to achieving goals that matter to the team.

Ask these questions with curiosity and an open mind, and make answering them a collaborative process. This aligns everyone’s expectations to what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, and what the outcomes will be. It also shows your team that you’re genuinely interested in their needs and goals. You show credibility as someone who values their input and aims to collaborate, not control. This lays the foundation for trust, which is essential to building strong, productive relationships with your colleagues.

Tip #2: Get Vulnerable

In studies on effective leadership, compassion consistently ranks in the top three traits. People want to be seen as more than just their job title, and they value leaders who empathize and show grace during tough times.

As a leader, you won't know everything—and that's okay. The key is not knowing it all but being willing to learn. When you admit what you don’t know, you remind your team that you’re human, too. Just as we ask teachers to embrace vulnerability when reflecting and growing in their teaching, we must be willing to do the same as leaders.

Admitting when you're wrong or don’t have all the answers builds integrity and trust. It also gives you the chance to do your research, learn, and share that learning with your team, which strengthens your credibility.

As an upper-elementary teacher, I was only familiar with third- through fifth-grade math content. In my Math Specialist role, I served Pre-K through 5th grade teachers and students. This left me with a big knowledge gap.

My first step was diving headfirst into Mix and Math 360° to understand upper elementary math concepts more deeply. I used the learning roadmaps to see the building blocks of understanding students need to develop as they work toward mastering a concept. The content videos and hands-on resources in Mix and Math 360° also gave me ideas and inspiration to support Pre-K through 3rd-grade teachers in teaching meaningful math.

Then, I dug into the lower-elementary math standards. I used the site corestandards.org to make my own “cheat sheet” of each grade’s standards to refer back to. This helped me understand the progression of concepts across grade levels—and it paid off when I shared these cheat sheets with teachers during a workshop on vertical alignment.

Ask yourself: what learning do you need to do to become the leader your team needs? Embrace the vulnerability of not knowing, and commit to digging into the learning. When you show that you're open to growth, it helps others feel comfortable doing the same—and that's where real trust in leaders begins.

Tip #3: Get Friendly With Feedback

Angela Duckworth once said, "As soon as possible, experts hungrily seek feedback on how they did." While I wouldn’t say I’m hungry for feedback, I’ve learned to appreciate it as a snack.

Let’s face it: feedback can be intimidating. Negative feedback can make you feel like you're not doing a good job. But the key is to reframe feedback as an opportunity for growth. Seeking feedback from your teacher-teammates shows that you care about doing your best and value their input. It’s also a great way to practice vulnerability and build trust.

To make feedback a regular part of your routine, start informally. At the end of each coaching session or meeting, I’d ask two simple questions: What was valuable for you today? and How can I support you going forward? This approach made it easier for both me and my colleagues to give and receive feedback comfortably.

Once you’ve built a culture of informal feedback, you can introduce more formal methods, like end-of-cycle surveys. To make formal feedback useful, focus on the goals you set early on. This not only helps you track progress but also shows your team that you’re following through on your commitments.

When you seek and act on feedback, you build credibility as a leader. It shows your team that you’re committed to growing and improving, just like you ask them to do. By valuing their input, you demonstrate trust in their opinions—and trust is often reciprocated. Over time, this consistent exchange of feedback strengthens your relationships and positions you as a leader they can rely on.

If you and feedback aren’t on friendly terms yet, start small with informal check-ins, and work your way up to more structured feedback. The more you engage with feedback, the more it builds trust, credibility, and long-term growth as a leader.

Wrapping It Up

At the heart of effective leadership is one essential ingredient: trust. And trust is built on credibility, which stems from both competence and character. To become a leader your colleagues trust, focus on these three key strategies:

Get Curious: Dive deep into the needs of your teachers and students. Define clear purposes and success markers to align everyone’s expectations from the start.
Get Vulnerable: Remember, you're human—and so is your team. Embrace your knowledge gaps and be open about what you don’t know. By showing you're willing to learn, you build authentic connections and credibility.
Get Friendly With Feedback: Regularly seek feedback, and be sure it’s focused on shared goals. This consistent check-in process helps build trust, showing you care about improving and growing alongside your team.

These strategies are just the beginning. Building strong, trusting relationships takes time! While these "big moves" make a huge impact, don’t overlook the small, everyday actions that reinforce trust.

Have your own tips for building trust with your team? Share them in the comments—I’d love to hear what’s working for you!